“A Human” To The Left Of “The Dream” *

It’s not that I’m brokenhearted. It’s just a bit saddening to recount what we’ve lost on our journey. Yeah, completely normal, you meet another people, and make your way through countless exciting adventures every single day, dropping and forgetting some as you walk further. Well, the same thing also happens to me, but you see, I didn’t make it as well as you did.

You are one of the earliest friend I’ve met on the internet. That was when we were still logging in into our Friendster account. That was when I needed to sit quietly on an internet cafe booth to get connected. Back then, my world was still shining with dreams, those bright days when daily lives as an undergraduate freshman felt like a great quest.

I met you on a forum. There, a cheerful high school girl wanted to start a music project. A piano duet. Without a second thought I offered myself, and we started messaging each other.

Well, since I was (and I am still) not a skilled one, I couldn’t give anything to the project. I had no idea what you were working on, and you never told me anything. You said something about the composition you were writing on, that you would send it to me once finished. In the end, I never got that said composition. We were just chatting, without actually working on our plan. Not even a slightest clue ever came to me, about the music you were working on. Maybe it was my total lack of musical skill that discouraged you, so that you decided to silently drop the project, while slowly stepping away from me little by little.

After that, I didn’t hear much about you. You gained popularity as a vocalist, while I lost my dreams and my shiny days. You engaged to a man, and me, I couldn’t even date a single girl. I don’t know how far you reach your dream now, but I pretty much realize that I’m in a downhill run of my life.

Having our paths (nearly) crossed at that point in our life makes me happy, yet there was something on it that gives me this deep sorrow, brings me on the verge of tears.

You were a part of my dream, but you’ll always be a part of my memories. You were an arc of my life which didn’t end in a true ending, but nevertheless, still a beautiful arc.

Dedicated to a certain singer-songwriter and pianist.

* にんべんに夢

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“A Human” To The Left Of “The Dream” *

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